Goodbye Mid-20s

24-26. My mid-20s. You were pretty good. 

Austin. Houston. Boston. Houston, again. From earning my masters to falling in love, and every adventure in between, you’ve been good. I would say 25 was the best year EVER! 

The last several months seems like I’ve been preparing for the last 3rd of my 20s - my late 20s. From starting a new career, buying a new car, and now a new home…seems like it’s a fresh start for a new era. 

I don’t know what the last 3rd of my 20s hold for me but I hope it’s uphill. To more adventures, laughter, milestones, and love. <3 

I’m the Jerk and I’m Okay With That

I’ve been a jerk and although I feel bad, I don’t feel that bad. #sorrynotsorry

I feel bad because if I was in this guy’s shoes, I’d be butt hurt with the way I’ve been treating him. 

And it’s not like I’m insulting the guy in anyway…I’m just actually very disconnected. I have no interest in him and I’ve never said anything to make him think that I am. HOWEVER, I’ve never said anything in letting him know that he has no fucking chance. 

I’m in no way leading him on. Most of the time I don’t answer his texts and when I do they’re short, concise answers. I’m a coward in the aspect that I can’t be direct and just say “stop. no. just…no”

If I could be honest, this is what I would say:

Sorry, but you bore me. It’s weird that you travel the world and do all these amazing things here in Houston, basically the same shit I do, BUT YOU’RE BORING. How is that?? Most people when they travel, do things, have hobbies…they have a lot to say! They’re enthusiastic about this stuff. Are you enthusiastic…on the inside???? Do you suffer from bored face syndrome?? 

Your jokes are clever…but also boring. What’s up with that? Do I not find you funny because I’m overwhelmed with boredom? Maybe if I did like you, I’d laugh more but I meh…and a girl always wants a guy who makes her laugh. 

The thing is, you’re very nice, you’re not thirsty, and you text me just the right amount to the point that I’m not annoyed. You’ve done everything right except that I just don’t find you exciting. Sorry. 

You’re nice and you like to do fun things. I have no worries that you’ll find someone with the same interests as you with the same amount of zest (or lack there of) for life. 

see? jerk. 

(Reblogged from gthegentleman)
There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (via glamour)
(Reblogged from glamour)
(Reblogged from gthegentleman)

Idiosyncrasies - Good Will Hunting

In memory of Robin Williams’ death. I’ve posted this clip on this blog before. Definitely a fave. 

Good Feelings Cap

Warning: feels happening here…

I was watching the movie Her the other day and Joaquin’s character said something that pretty much summed up how I’ve been feeling as of late. Now I could go find the quote…wait maybe I should…hold on…

nah it’s too much work…so here’s my summary:

At this point in our lives, we’ve felt every feeling we could have possibly felt. That while we are bound to enter new relationships in the future, the new feelings we have will just be variations of what we’ve already felt before. It’s not to disregard new relationships. First date jitters will still exist, saying and hearing “I love you” for the first time will feel amazing, and falling in love will be like finding home. 

But what if you’ve felt the BEST of it? Being in a good relationship…how the hell does it get better than that? You’re telling me something BETTER exists for me?? How can you be so sure? 

For the first time in my life, I could be my weird quirky self without any reservations. Without having to think twice “omg is he going to think I’m weird? Is he going to think I’m crazy?”. To be with someone without EVER having to hold anything back…even making mistakes here and there…and having them love you…HOW DOES IT GET BETTER THAN THAT? 

While I’m moving forward…I don’t necessarily worry whether or not I’ll fall in love again. I believe it’ll happen (does that sound cocky? YA I’LL BE LOVED, GET MARRIED, AND BE AWESOME) but as of right now, I just don’t know how it’ll be better, be so real to the point that I’m not questioning whether it’s too good to be true.

And maybe that’s the point. Because love is supposed to catch you off guard and sweep you off your feet. You’re not supposed to be able to clearly picture HOW you’ll be loved because it’s actually much greater than your imagination. Maybe that’s it. 

I still can’t tell if I’m “ready” for the dating scene. While I’m open to go on dates…I just have this feeling that it’ll be awhile before I get butterflies, those jitters, that nervous feeling you get because you know something great is about to happen. I’m sure I’ll meet some nice guys but I feel that they’ll just be regarded as ‘nice guys’ and nothing more. I’m open to dating, but a small part of me is still slightly checked out. 

Love What You Do

I had a discussion yesterday where my friend and I reviewed all of our past jobs…including odd jobs!

I’ve been an ice cream scooper, cake maker, waitress, an assistant, a lab runner, microbiologist, cashier, consultant, and now a lung cancer preventionist. 

I don’t know if maybe I’m a positive person or not…or possibly put positive spins on everything but my friend pointed out that every single job I’ve had in the past, including the odd ones, I seem to have found some sort of fun benefit to it. 

I was then confused…WHY ARE YOU PERPLEXED BY THIS? I believe you can find the good in everything you do. Not only that…we as humans spend pretty much 70% of our lives AT WORK. Shouldn’t I wake up every morning (okay most mornings) looking forward to work and take pride in what I do? Working for me and making money is essential to living, so when I’m hunting for a job, I’m seeking something I would enjoy.

This is kind of a #firstworldproblem I know. I know people who have to work just to make ends meet and THAT I respect. But if you have the luxury to choose your career and job and you’re MISERABLE or at least not even excited/proud of what you do…you’re lazy. 

"I chose this career because it makes me money" <— But do you even enjoy it? Do you geek out about how much it gets you excited? No? And you wonder why you’re sad and slouching over all the time. 

Do what you love. Those #workperks just makes life more pleasant. 


(Reblogged from sheslikeaghost)